It’s been a long time…

Dearest Jayna,

I can’t being to tell you how many times I meant to open up this blog and tell you how amazing it is that you’re a part of our world. It’s been a little over 7 months. I just realized that the last time I wrote to you was when I was in the hospital in labor.

That was, to this day, the most amazing thing I have ever done in my life. I was scared and it was painful, but I have never been more determined. The strength it took to deliver you on June 25th, 10:49 am, is a strength that I have carried with me since, that gets me through the challenges of being a mom.

Life is different my dear. It was hard to adjust at times, when we were once used to having complete freedom, and then everything depended on this tiny little person we love oh so much. And you, you depend on us too. For everything of course. Naturally, gratefully, all though sometimes impatiently.

Life now flashes before us. Where does time go? It disappears in moments of joy, watching you grow, watching you learn, watching you change in front of our eyes. You are nothing short of amazing, no matter how short you are. Sometimes time flies in frustration, tears, diapers, and far too many poop-covered changing tabled. It’s life. Life is different.

Life is better. It may, at times, be harder, but we can no longer imagine a time in our lives without you. Wonder never ceases to exist. We look at you and it’s like, “Wow! We made that!” It’s a proud feeling.

You have changed us as well. Made us two people who put family above all else. You’ve made me stronger, more caring, more determined. Being a mom has brought out a whole new side of me I never knew I had. And I would do it all again. In a heartbeat.

I read an article today, and it looked like something that I would want to make sure to share with you down the road. It was beautiful and made me cry. It was all about a mom being there for her daughter. It’s the mom I want to be for you.

A Promise for My Daughter

Posted: 08/24/2013 3:06 pm

I’m tired and she’s tired. And she’s been weeping with frustration, her face a smudge of red cheeks and snotty trails.

I go down on my knees beside her little, chubby legs. They’re curving over the edge of her green froggy potty stool and she is glaring hot blue eyes into my face. I reach for her and she swats at me and doesn’t want the comfort I know she wants.

I gently take her hands and pull her up. Her tender self all frustration and sweat and vulnerability melting into me. I cup her with my arms and my words and slowly stroke those damp curls back from her cheeks.

I’ve got deadlines and to-do lists and no clue what to make for dinner. There is one quiet window before the boys come home and Pete has made it back early and we’re hoping for a snatched ten minute nap. But she’s inconsolable for reasons she can’t put into 2-year-old words yet and I’m on my knees reaching for her.

I will always come, baby.

She’s in my arms and slowly beginning the ritual of stroking my right arm. Her curls are warm and sweaty and that pudgy baby cheek fits just under my chin.

I will always come.

I dance with her slowly — the rock and roll of motherhood — and I know this is a promise I can stake my life on.

I will always come.

When you forget your lunch. When you are sheep number 5 in the Christmas play. When you take up the recorder and bleat all the way through the Easter service. When you get that bad haircut. When you think you want to be a beauty queen, when you swear off fashion altogether.

I will come.

When the mean girls make you want to shrivel inside your skin. When a teacher intimidates you. When you intimidate the teachers. When you think you can sing and try out for a musical, when you get laughed at and people point fingers at your hair and your shoes and your too bony hips.

My darling, I will come.

When that boy breaks your heart and you’re stranded at a college miles away, I will come. When the internship you thought was part of your calling falls through. When a friend gets sick. When the car crashes. When you have more long distance charges than you thought possible. When you run out of gas, chocolate chip cookies and faith.

I will be there.

When you say your “I dos,” when you you start your happily ever afters, when none of it quite feels like you thought it would. When you don’t know how to pick a mattress, when the sofa is in the wrong place, when you regret what feels like signing your life away to someone else. When you keep on keeping on. When you remember how to say sorry. When you need a safe place to say how cliche you feel all “barefoot and pregnant” I will so be there.

When the baby won’t sleep and the world’s on fire with sleep exhaustion.

Sweetheart, I will come.

When your husband’s out of work. When you’re down to one car and have moved in with your in-laws. When your job threatens to break your heart. When toddlers make you question your sanity. When you realize that you’ve made the worst mistake a woman can make. When you’ve run out of tears and still the tears keeping coming.

I will come.

When you move and move and relocate again. When you pack boxes and dreams and hope. When your life is a world of duct tape and questions. I will still come.

And when your home is warm and your heart is full. When you’re at peace. When you need someone to share the joy, to watch the kids, to admire the dimples. When you want to remember that old recipe for melktert, when you still can’t pick a sofa, when you wish you’d never said yes to the dog.

When you don’t know where you’re going. When you’re the most sure of yourself you’ve ever been. When you’re holding onto faith with just your fingernails. When you’re singing praise to the God who made you and you mean it with every tiny, beautiful, miraculous part of your DNA –

Zoe, always I will come. One hundred different ways I will come when you call.

I will rock and roll you with my love and the promise that I will help you get back on your feet. I will hold your hand. I will rejoice. I will babysit. I will pass the tissues. I will wash the dishes.

I will come.

Tonight.

Tomorrow.

And the day after. And after.

And then some.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisajo-baker-/a-promise-for-my-daughter_b_3805407.html?view=print&comm_ref=false

Love you my sweet darling daughter,

Mommy

Waiting for you to arrive

Dear Jayna,
I have been in the hospital since this morning. I went in for my non-stress test and my blood pressure was elevated.  We have been anxiously waiting  for you to make an appearance on your own terms. Unfortunately, because of my blood pressure they’ve decided the best thing for you is to move things along. Don’t worry I know you have a mind of your own.  It’s just time for you to come out now.

These last few weeks have been challenging. Between starting insulin, getting more and more uncomfortable, getting the house ready,  having more family around,  it’s been stressful. I honestly didn’t think we’d make it 38 weeks but here we are. It’s going to be a very long day and night.  I’ll let you in on a little secret though. I’m a scared of delivery. It’s still sinking in that we’re at the hospital and won’t be going home until you’re out and safe and sound.

I’ve been really excited about you joining us.  I can’t wait to hold you and kiss your little hands and feet.  We’re excited about being parents and this adventure we’re about to begin.  I’m not sure if we’ve completely processed just how different our lives are going to be.  But we do know they’re going to be better with you in them. 

Can’t wait to meet you baby cakes. 

Love, 
Mommy 

Mother’s Day is coming up!

Dear Jayna,

It might sound silly, but I’m actually really excited to be celebrating my first Mothers’ Day. I know you’re not actually here yet, and I’m not sharing it with you in a way where you have any idea what’s going on. But it just reminds me that this huge change is coming in my life. I day dream about seeing you and holding you and comforting you when you get here. I flash forward to being a mom who’s trying to teach you things and grow with you. I fantasize about us having mommy-daughter parties and dancing silly in the living room or the basement when daddy’s not home. I even think about getting you through your first crush, first love, and first heartbreak. 

These thoughts and dreams really get me through the tough days. The nights when you kick me so hard I can’t sleep. Yes, baby girl, I know you’re there🙂. They get me through the days I’m so exhausted and uncomfortable that all I want to do is cry. They’re getting me through fighting 2 infections simultaneously while trying to keep my blood sugar down and gain weight at the same time! The third trimester has not been easy! But I look ahead. I found something valuable to share with you in light of Mothers’ Day coming up. 

“Dear Children,

Mother’s Day is coming up, and I thought I should tell you what I want. This way there’s no guilty panic or last minute purchasing of flowers at the closest gas station. So, this is what I want, this year and every year after; it’s pretty simple really.

I want you to be a decent human being.

I want you to be who you are, but don’t be an asshole.

I want you to work hard at everything you do, because life is too short not to give it everything you’ve got.

I want you to ask for help when you need it.

I want you to help others when they need it.

I want you to learn how to cook, do your own laundry, pay your bills and know how to clean a bathroom.

When you screw up, and you will, more than once, I want you to own it, because it’s the screw-ups that make the victories sweeter.

I want you to travel, because the world is huge and you are one part of it.

I want you to know that even when we hate each other, I will never stop loving you.

I want you to play nicely with others.

I want you to feed your curiosity.

I want you to find a way to do what you love, and realize that that might look different than you originally thought.

I want you to respect every human being’s right to be who they are.

I want you to sometimes be more interested in someone else than in yourself.

I want you to know that you are flawed and you are extraordinary. There is no one else like you.

I want you to know that I would lay down my life for you in Lily Potter fashion any day of the week.

I want you to realize how lucky you are every once in awhile even if only for an instant.

I want you to know love, even if it means getting hurt.

I want you to relax and not feel guilty about it.

I want you to know life can be brutally hard sometimes.

I want you to know that you can choose happiness even when the dark side offers you cookies.

And I wouldn’t mind breakfast in bed.

See, simple.”

I  hope you find this helpful one day :-) 

Love,

Mom

Words of Wisdom All Around

Dearest Jayna,

I cannot believe how fast you are growing and how soon you will be here. I’m now 10 1/2 weeks from my due date. I can feel you getting bigger in my belly and taking up more and more room. You kick and punch very hard, and the doctor was impressed with the show you put on at my last appointment. 2 weeks ago we got to see you for an hour on an ultrasound. At one point you waved at us, and I almost cried because I really felt like you were trying to say, “Hello.” I will be putting together a board of all your ultrasound pictures for your nursery. As prepared as I think we are sometimes, we still have so much to do to get ready for your arrival! 

I’ve seen a few things recently I wanted to share with you. First, your dad shared this article with me on Facebook for moms of daughters. It was really beautiful and went over a lot of what I feel I see myself doing with you. 

 

“25 RULES FOR MOTHERS OF DAUGHTERS

1. Paint her nails. Then let her scratch it off and dirty them up. Teach her to care about her appearance, and then quickly remind her that living and having fun is most important.

2. Let her put on your makeup, even if it means bright-red-smudged lips and streaked-blue eyes. Let her experiment in her attempts to be like you…then let her be herself.

3. Let her be wild. She may want to stay home and read books on the couch, or she may want to hop on the back of a motorcycle-gasp. She may be a homebody or a traveler. She may fall in love with the wrong boy, or meet mr. right at age 5. Try to remember that you were her age once. Everyone makes mistakes, let her make her own.

4. Be present. Be there for her at her Kindergarten performances, her dance recitals, her soccer games…her everyday-little-moments. When she looks through the crowds of people, she will be looking for your smile and pride. Show it to her as often as possible.

5. Encourage her to try on your shoes and play dress-up. If she would rather wear her brother’s superman cape with high heals, allow it. If she wants to wear a tutu or dinosaur costume to the grocery store, why stop her? She needs to decide who she is and be confident in her decision.

6. Teach her to be independent. Show her by example that woman can be strong. Find and follow your own passions. Search for outlets of expression and enjoyment for yourself- not just your husband or children. Define yourself by your own attributes, not by what others expect you to be. Know who you are as a person, and help your daughter find out who she is.

7. Pick flowers with her. Put them in her hair. There is nothing more beautiful than a girl and a flower.

8. Let her get messy. Get messy with her, no matter how much it makes you cringe inside. Splash in the puddles, throw snowballs, make mud pies, finger paint the walls: just let it happen. The most wonderful of memories are often the messy ones.

9. Give her good role models- you being one of them. Introduce her to successful woman- friends, co-workers, doctors, astronauts, or authors. Read to her about influential woman- Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks, Marie Curie. Read her the words of inspirational woman- Jane Austen, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson. She should know that anything is possible.

10. Show her affection. Daughters will mimic the compassion of their mother. “I love yous” and Eskimo kisses go a long way.

11. Hold her hand. Whether she is 3 years-old in the parking lot or sixteen years old in the mall, hold on to her always- this will teach her to be confident in herself and proud of her family.

12. Believe in her. It is the moments that she does not believe in herself that she will need you to believe enough for both of you. Whether it is a spelling test in the first grade, a big game or recital, a first date, or the first day of college…remind her of the independent and capable woman you have taught her to be.

13. Tell her how beautiful she is. Whether it is her first day of Kindergarten, immediately after a soccer game where she is grass-stained and sweaty, or her wedding day. She needs your reminders. She needs your pride. She needs your reassurance. She is only human.

14. Love her father. Teach her to love a good man, like him. One who lets her be herself…she is after all wonderful.

15. Make forts with boxes and blankets. Help her to find magic in the ordinary, to imagine, to create and to believe in fairy tales. Someday she will make her 5 by 5 dorm-room her home with magic touches and inspiration. And she will fall in love with a boy and believe him to be Prince Charming.

16. Read to her. Read her Dr. Seuss and Eric Carle. But also remember the power of Sylvia Plath and Robert Frost. Show her the beauty of words on a page and let her see you enjoy them. Words can be simply written and simply spoken, yet can harvest so much meaning. Help her to find their meaning.

17. Teach her how to love- with passion and kisses. Love her passionately. Love her father passionately and her siblings passionately. Express your love. Show her how to love with no restraint. Let her get her heart broken and try again. Let her cry, and gush, giggle and scream. She will love like you love or hate like you hate. So, choose love for both you and her.

18. Encourage her to dance and sing. Dance and sing with her- even if it sounds or looks horrible. Let her wiggle to nursery rhymes. Let her dance on her daddy’s feet and spin in your arms. Then later, let her blast noise and headbang in her bedroom with her door shut if she wants. Or karaoke to Tom Petty in the living room if she would rather. Introduce her to the classics- like The Beatles- and listen to her latest favorite- like Taylor Swift. Share the magic of music together, it will bring you closer- or at least create a soundtrack to your life together.

19. Share secrets together. Communicate. Talk. Talk about anything. Let her tell you about boys, friends, school. Listen. Ask questions. Share dreams, hopes, concerns. She is not only your daughter, you are not only her mother. Be her friend too.

20. Teach her manners. Because sometimes you have to be her mother, not just her friend. The world is a happier place when made up of polite words and smiles.

21. Teach her when to stand-up and when to walk away. Whether she has classmates who tease her because of her glasses, or a boyfriend who tells her she is too fat – let her know she does not have to listen. Make sure she knows how to demand respect – she is worthy of it. It does not mean she has to fight back with fists or words, because sometimes you say more with silence. Also make sure she knows which battles are worth fighting. Remind her that some people can be mean and nasty because of jealousy, or other personal reasons. Help her to understand when to shut her mouth and walk-away. Teach her to be the better person.

22. Let her choose who she loves. Even when you see through the charming boy she thinks he is, let her love him without your disapproving words; she will anyway. When he breaks her heart, be there for her with words of support rather than I told-you-so. Let her mess up again and again until she finds the one. And when she finds the one, tell her.

23. Mother her. Being a mother – to her – is undoubtedly one of your greatest accomplishments. Share with her the joys of motherhood, so one day she will want to be a mother too. Remind her over and over again with words and kisses that no one will ever love her like you love her. No one can replace or replicate a mother’s love for their children.

24. Comfort her. Because sometimes you just need your mommy. When she is sick, rub her back, make her soup and cover her in blankets – no matter how old she is. Someday, if she is giving birth to her own child, push her hair out of her face, encourage her, and tell her how beautiful she is. These are the moments she will remember you for. And someday when her husband rubs her back in attempt to comfort her…she may just whisper, “I need my mommy.”

25. Be home. When she is sick with a cold or broken heart, she will come to you; welcome her. When she is engaged or pregnant, she will run to you to share her news; embrace her. When she is lost or confused, she will search for you; find her. When she needs advice on boys, schools, friends or an outfit; tell her. She is your daughter and will always need a safe harbor – where she can turn a key to see comforting eyes and a familiar smile; be home.”

I hope to get through as much of this list as I can and be a good and understanding and loving mom to you. I dream it up a lot, but until you’re really here and really growing with us, no one knows what parenting will truly bring. 

I also saw this beautiful post on Facebook about wishing someone “enough.” It sounds like great words to live by. I’d like to get something printed and put up in the house with this quote. Or just print it and read it to you every now and then. 

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.”

 

I hope you find comfort in these words one day. 

Love,

Mom

Ceremonies

Dear Jayna,
I’m taking this opportunity to talk to you about something very important. I know that by the time you’re reading this you’ll have figured out that your dad and I are not religious. It’s not that we don’t believe in god, we just don’t agree with organized religion or blind faith. We never understood our parents’ need to follow certain customs without any logical reason. In Hindu tradition there are so many ceremonies for all these different life events. Your dad and I went along with all of these things for our wedding and are doing one more ceremony before you’re born. Your Nani in India started talking to me about doing some ceremony I “have” to do after you’re born. For the past 27 years I have gone along with whatever they have asked me to do without any reason to back it up. This time I decided to stand my ground and said no. Truth be told, they have not had to do half the ceremonies they are now asking us to do. When I said I wouldn’t do it the only response Mummy had for me was that I have to. No reason, no logic. We will not impose any of these things on you. It’s great to be respectful and to do things to make your parents happy,  but I believe it’s also our job as parents to respect our children’s beliefs. I don’t think our parents understand this concept. They just keep trying to live vicariously through us or give us what they didn’t have. We won’t try to do this to you either. We will try our best to respect your individuality.  You’re not in this world to please us or carry out our agenda. You’re here to be loved for who you are and to become your own person.
Love you for who you are, 
Mommy

So Much To Tell You!

Dear Baby Desai,

I am so sorry that it has once again taken me so long to write to you. A lot has happened and changed since your last ultrasound on New Year’s Eve. We’ve really spread the news of you to everyone we can. All happily received of course! On January 18th we officially moved into our new house. We had a lot of help between your grandparents and Uncle Ryan to get settled and unpacked. Your dad has been working tirelessly on the weekends to take care of what I can’t and get our old house ready for sale. He has been amazing. I made sure to put a lot of effort into making him aa special Valentine’s Day dinner to show him my appreciation. I also gave you a little pep talk asking you to kick hard enough so daddy could feel it. You were easily persuaded after my homemade molten chocolate cake. You’ve been growing well and kicking stronger and stronger. I’m 20 weeks now, so we’re half way there!

Yesterday was a very big day for us. We had our 20 week ultrasound and a very important piece of news was given to us. We were very excited to find out that you’re a girl!

My dear Jayna Lexi Desai, as your name has been picked out for a long time, I could not be more excited hearing this news. I have always wanted a daughter. Daughters are amazing. I know we’re going to have our disagreements and fights and drama, but let me share a few things with you that I’ve learned in my 27 years of being a daughter.

Daughters may be known as being Daddy’s little girls, but daughters grow to be their Mom’s best friends. Daughters take care of their families in a more nurturing way than sons. Daughters add so much joy and love to a household and family.

Your daddy is coming around. Not to worry. I know he’s going to be great with you.

Today he sent me this awesome article about rules for dads with daughters. It’s a great list. Be sure to let me know how many he gets through!

http://www.fromdatestodiapers.com/50-rules-for-dads-of-daughters

The fact that he’s even reading something like this proves to me that he has nothing but the intention of being the best dad to you he can be. Remember this and forgive him when he falls short. He did not grow up with sisters and he’s going to have some challenges but I know he’s going to love you so much!

I also wanted to take this opportunity to explain to you where your name came from. I may have already explained it to you by now, but I guess it’s nice to have it in writing (so you know I didn’t change my story along the way). I wanted to find a name that really meant something. I wanted to try to name you after someone I admire. Thankfully, your name covers a lot of people I admire. I don’t know if your Great Uncle Dennis will still be around when you read this to have heard him say this, but he always refers to me, your mausi, your grandmas, and your great aunt as the infamous Jain Women. Your grandmas’ and nani mausi’s maiden name is Jain. The inspiration for your name also came from the fact that the first time I told Nani Mausi I was pregnant, she said “This would have been your grandfather’s first great grand child.” We lost you great grandpa at the end of 2011 right after we all left India after Payal Mausi’s and Ankur Mama’s weddings. We had hoped he would be around long enough to welcome the next generation, but his health was rapidly declining.

For better or worse, the “Jain Women” are a force to be reckoned with. They are the 3 of the strongest, most loving, intelligent, caring, nurturing, selfless, crazy, hard-working women I know. Your Nani from India made one of the biggest sacrifices anyone ever could by giving me up to your other Nani. Your Nani who raised me, is one of the most hardworking women I know. She works endlessly and puts everyone ahead of herself. I don’t know where I’d be without her. She also fought cancer and won. She never let it get her down. Your Nani Mausi has worked hard her whole life and continues to work on her career. She’s a great doctor, tons of fun, and has been through so much in life. It amazes me how much she has gone through and how strong she continues to be. She also made the selfless act of adopting your Shilpa Mausi to give her a better life. It hasn’t always been easy for her but she has been one of the best mothers I have ever seen. There were so many times growing up that I wished she was my mom and she has given me a great example to follow. Not to say your Nanis didn’t do a good job or weren’t good mothers. Nani Mausi was just more in touch with what it was like growing up here and she was a lot easier to talk to.

I can’t say we’ll be perfect parents by any stretch but I can promise we will try our best not to do the things we wished went differently with our own parents. I’m sure by now you’ll have seen how different your two sets of grandparents are. There were so many times I got frustrated with my mom for not listening and being quick to judge. I didn’t find her easy to talk to or have the most open relationship with. A lot of times conversations where I was just trying to talk to her ended up in arguments because she was very opinionated about what I had to say. I am really really going to try not to do that with you. I hope that you can always find that you can come to me with anything. It is my full intention to be there to listen to your problems and be as unbiased as possible. If you do find me interjecting too much, just know that it comes from my need to protect you.

We will always be trying our best. And we promise to love you all the time no matter what.

I can’t wait to meet you, Jayna.

Love,

Mama Desai❤

Pregnancy Yummies I don’t want to Forget

I haven’t posted on here in forever! I wish I had taken pictures of some of the delicious and successful dishes I have made since I’ve gotten my energy back. I am now pregnant and I’m afraid of “pregnancy brain” fogging my ability to remember what I’ve accomplished. If I don’t forget during pregnancy, I will never remember when I’m averaging 3 or 4 hours of sleep per night!

When I first found out I was pregnant and for the majority of my first trimester I was very tired, sometimes nauseous, and a lot of foods I normally enjoyed tasted weird to me. Ah hormones!

Two weeks ago for New Years’ Eve I made dosas. All from scratch – no mixes or ready to cook batters for me!

I like to make different fillings too and avoid potatoes or limit potatoes to keep the meal more filling and less starchy. I even make my batter with half lentils, half brown rice and make my sambar more of a dal with the same flavors of sambar than a the liquidy consistency it usually is.

More recently I made some really delicious eggplant parmesan.Full disclosure – I’ve never made it before. I love breaded baked eggplant, so I started with that. I salted the eggplants lightly, let them get soft for about 15 minutes, and then floured, egg washed, and breaded the eggplant slices with Italian seasoned breadcrumbs, cornmeal, and lots of chili flakes.

I air baked them on a wire rack and then when I was ready to make it into eggplant parmesan, I laid on a little sauce, topped the slices with fresh mozzarella and fresh grated parmesan cheese. I baked those slices a little longer to melt the cheese and then topped the slices with another breaded slice so there would be a crispy layer on top. I served them with some Barilla Plus Angel Hair pasta in marinara sauce – perfecto!

Friday night my husband and I went out for Mexican food. I was having a craving and figured we would be in for something great at a hole in the wall authentic tacqueria. Boy were we wrong!

The chips and salsa were all right, but our Molcajete was loaded with meat and barely any sauce and my fajitas were kinda lack luster and came with no accompaniments. We got through very little of the fajita and molcajete because neither were what we were expecting and I guess we filled up on chips and salsa a bit anyway. We had A LOT left over. I knew I’d have to do something to doctor it up.

I made a chipotle guajillo sauce that tasted almost as good as the first molacjete we ever got that none have compared to since. I toasted 3 guajillo chillies, added 3 cloves of garlic, half an onion, 1 chipotle with adobo, and one tomato. I added water, chicken stock concentrate, cumin, oregano, and a little sazon. I let it simmer for about 2 hours. I blended the sauce, added all the left over meats to a pan, poured the sauce on top, and let it cook for another hour. The meat was no longer dry and bland. It was tender, falling apart, and delicious!

I just wanted to get it all written down if I ever need to duplicate anything!🙂

 

 

 

 

 

Ending 2012 and Catching up

Dear baby Desai,

Sorry it’s been so long since I wrote to you. Things have been very crazy with us packing up our house, holidays, events, etc. Tonight is New Year’s Eve. Your dad is sitting on the couch watching the Chick-Fil-A Bowl, and your grandparents (my parents) are here. Grandma is on the phone with your other Grandma, and Grandpa is working (you’ll soon learn, he does that a lot). We just finished dinner a little while ago. Your mommy made her awesome dosas because she just had to have them. I hope you enjoyed them too.

To catch up, here’s what has happened recently. We saw you squirming at your 10 week ultrasound. You’ve come a long way from a squiggley looking bean. We saw arms and legs and a more definitive head and torso. Mommy’s blood pressure was a little high, so she’s being watched like a hawk. Worst case scenario, I’ll be on bed rest during my third trimester and will have to deliver early. Odds are, my dear, you will not be a July baby, even if all the T-shirts say so.

BabyD_Olive 12.13.12

We’ve had fun telling family and close friends about over the past week or two. I had a video chat with my girl friends from college where I wore a shirt saying “Bun in the Oven” and showed it to them half way through the conversation. They were shocked and happy. To tell some other close friends and family, I had custom shirts made where the front said “I’m going to be a…” and then said how they would be related to you. It was a really fun way to break the news.

Cousins_Front2_12.22.12Cousins _Back 12.22.12 Jen & Amanda 12.22.12Jen & Amanda Backs 12.22.12Grandparents1_12.22.12Payal & Sarang_12.24.12Webbs_12.24.12

We have all your big cousins here, two of mommy’s close friends Aunt Mandy and Aunt Jen, 4 out of 6 of your grandparents, you Payal Mausi and Sarang Mausa, your Nani Mausi and NanaMausa, and Shilpa Mausi. Everyone is so excited about you.

My office department found out a little differently. I was trying to break the news at a happy hour, and it didn’t get out and get around the way I was hoping. The next morning one of my co-workers pulled me into her office to ask what was up and she had a look on her face that just said “I know you’re pregnant, just fess up.” I did. I told her I had some concerns about the lunch arrangements we had for our departmental holiday lunch. She said she’d get there early and talk to them. I got to lunch and she pulled me aside and said they’d make me a separate cheese plate with all pasteurized cheeses. The plan was still to be discreet since I hadn’t gotten to tell everyone yet. The waiter came to us, introduced himself, and then 2 seconds later said, “So I hear someone here is pregnant.” I looked around real quick, raised my hand, and said “Surprise!” Everyone was very amused at how this news was broken, as was I. I brushed it off, and said he wasn’t our real waiter, I had just hired him to make the announcement. I would say it’s quite the story to share!

It’s been great having so many people know. We’re going viral with the announcement tomorrow. I put together a collage of the t-shirt photos and added a copy of your ultrasound.

I changed it today to include a picture of your ultrasound from today. You’re growing well baby. Just the right size for your gestational age. You kept trying to suck your thumb during the ultrasound. It was the most time we got to see you so far. You were not very squirmy this time. The technician had a hard time getting you to move to right angle for what she needed to check. At one point you showed us your back. Already stubborn and defiant, huh? I’m kidding!

BabyD_Peach 12.31.12

This year is ending well for us. Your daddy has also started a scrap book weekly to share with you too. I also think he’s having sympathy cravings. He’s been going on and on about Frozen Yogurt and we’re making fun of him for it right now.🙂

Well, it’s getting late, and we probably won’t make it to midnight tonight. It’s been a long day and we have a lot to do tomorrow. We close on our new house on Thursday, so we need to get some more packing ready! It’s crazy to think in a couple of weeks we’ll be moving into our new house. It’s going to be a lot to get used to all at once, but we’re excited you’ll be joining us soon.

Love,

Mom

Our First Time Seeing You

Dear baby,

It has been a while since I wrote to you last. A lot has happened since. Your mommy voted for the first time. That was exciting! We’ve told one or two more friends here and there and told your daddy’s cousin and wife who we are very close to about you. Kruti Auntie was very excited when I told her over sushi and we told Manish Uncle at Thanksgiving dinner. He was so happy he teared up. It was surprising but they will be bringing your big cousin into the world about 5 months before you get here. It’s nice to be going through some of this with family like that.

The biggest piece of news is that we saw you for the first time on Tuesday November 20th.

Image

We confirmed with the doctor that you are definitely 7 weeks old (almost 8 weeks as I’m writing this) and you are due to arrive into this world on July 7, 2013. We saw your heart flickering on the monitor and the doctor told us you had a good strong heartbeat. I felt like a very proud mom at that moment. Every time I laughed it was like you were playing peek-a-boo on the ultra sound and you would hide. It was the best. I can’t wait to see you again already. December 13, 2012 is our next appointment. Until then, my baby.

Love you tons,

Mama Desai❤

 

Your Family is really Excited For You

Dear baby Desai,

In case I haven’t told you this yet, your family is super excited about you. Your Mausi is really trying to finish her PhD work before you come along so she can be with us when you get here. I can’t enforce enough how excited your grandparents are. This is probably the most I’ve talked to your Grandma in a while. Not too many people know yet. It’s really hard keeping it to myself, but I know it’s the safest thing to do right now. In addition to family, we have a few close friends we have informed. I told my best friend Nidhi, and dad told his best friend Ryan. Ryan is like family. We consider him our brother. He looks out for us all the time.

Since he found out about you, he’s done an excellent job looking out for you too. During the hurricane he called and texted me a bunch of times (your dad wasn’t here) to see how we were doing and if we needed anything. We went to visit him on Friday and he was good at making sure we were comfortable and even had baby friendly beverages for us! Yay! We invited him over for some yummy bison burgers last night and be brought us cookies. Your dad ate way more than I did last night…I hope this doesn’t become a pattern.

I’m really trying to do everything I can to take care of you. Yesterday was the first time I exercised in a while (you make me very tired!). I am going to try to get back on it today too. Today you are 5 weeks along and the size of a sesame seed! I’m trying to read all the pregnancy stuff I can get my hands on. Since I did close to nothing before we found out about you, I have a lot of catching up to do! I am taking my prenatal vitamins, eating lots of fruits and vegetables and dairy everyday. I am really tying not to eat too much unhealthy stuff. I keep craving Cheez-Itz though! And there was that cookie last night but I had it with a glass of milk so that cancels it out right?

I must sound so silly to you. I’m a dietitian and I’m fussing over eating healthy enough. I’m glad I at least have that knowledge in my background so I know what to be cautious of like raw fish, soft cheeses, and deli meat. Giving up coffee cold turkey was one of the hardest things I had to do. I’m allowing myself some decaf for the taste, but your mama loves coffee! When I was talking to your Grandma yesterday I was talking to her about giving up coffee. She was amazed at how I gave it up so quickly, but I said it didn’t matter how I felt about it, I had to do what was best for you. I’m starting to feel like a mom already. Taking care of you and protecting you is my number 1 priority now.

We have a lot going on all at once. It’s really overwhelming actually! We’re getting ready to move into a new home, we have to get ready to sell this house, the holidays are coming up, and I volunteered to throw dad’s cousin’s wife (Kruti) a baby shower in December. It is not easy to keep up with it all! I want to keep moving forward at my normal pace but I underestimate how tired I get. I’ve been stubbornly trying not to ask for help, but I think I’m going to have to give in. Your dad even acknowledged that he would have to start learning to cook. Let’s see if we can get him off the couch from watching football today and get him in the kitchen!

I think he can do it, he just needs a little push. But we really are so lucky to have so much love and support around us. We have no idea how we would do this without our friends and our family. It really does take a village, even when you’re still just the size of a sesame seed!

Love you so much!

Mama Desai